[ sometimes you need to find something to take your mind off things ]
Well... Belph isn't really that complicated. He just isn't really in a place where he can enter a romantic relationship right now. Which is fair? I won't force him into something he's not ready for.
[ and then there's hikage, which is more complicated ]
You thinking of hitting pause, or just quitting entirely then? I mean, shit like this is a weird time for anyone to entering relationships but it does happen.
[ me, a canon familiar becks: (laughs in hikage) ]
I think it's just... waiting and seeing there? See, both of them were coming back home with me, so the original plan was to wait for him to adjust to my city and then... see what happens.
Hikage is... he doesn't really have friends, and he can be really hard to get along with. Belph and I spent a good amount of time in the castle looking after him.
[ an understatement ]
But now that we're here, and don't have to do that as much anymore, I kind of realized that he doesn't really know nearly as much about me as I know about him. So I've been trying to figure out if I actually want a relationship that's like that, or... what.
But it's the kind of thing where, I dunno, does he want to actually date me or some idealized version of me? It's weird. I can only hold his hand about these kinds of things for so long.
Some people are crap at this stuff -- lay it out, and if he actually wants to make this work, he'll work on that. If he doesn't, then maybe it ain't worth it.
[ it would be easier if she could explain why she is so hesitant, but she cannot doxx hikage's. uh. hikageness. ]
Yeah... I think it's just extra annoying, since now we have a bunch of people telling us that we can very easily work through any problem, and any hesitation we might have is dumb and we should get over it.
You okay telling people you're working through stuff? You're not making promises, and anyone who pushes after that's a dick and you can tell them that to their face.
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Sure.
Well, I hope "nothing" works out for ya.
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Thanks. It probably won't, but I've accepted that at this point.
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Seem kind of defeatist.
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[ hmmm ]
Some people are just better off as friends, I think.
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That across the board or just for some of you?
[ ... ] I mean tell me to fuck off if you don't wanna talk about it.
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I don't mind. I think one of the problems from before was that I didn't actually have anyone to talk about it with...
[ except for the people involved which is its own set of problems ]
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...
[ he shrugs. ] Sometimes people who don't know shit at the ones who're easier to talk to about stuff. Go for it, if you want.
[ it's not like he has anywhere else to be and it's a distraction from. y'know. watching an innocent guy get his face punched off. ]
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Well... Belph isn't really that complicated. He just isn't really in a place where he can enter a romantic relationship right now. Which is fair? I won't force him into something he's not ready for.
[ and then there's hikage, which is more complicated ]
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[ me, a canon familiar becks: (laughs in hikage) ]
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... that plan has been interrupted, obviously.
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[ ... ]
That still the long-term plan?
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[ which she, admittedly, used to have a problem with when she was younger? so she is trying very hard to be better with that. ]
He's like, my best friend, so I don't really mind that much as long as he actually keeps my updated on where we stand. Which he has, so we're good.
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And the other guy?
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Hikage is... he doesn't really have friends, and he can be really hard to get along with. Belph and I spent a good amount of time in the castle looking after him.
[ an understatement ]
But now that we're here, and don't have to do that as much anymore, I kind of realized that he doesn't really know nearly as much about me as I know about him. So I've been trying to figure out if I actually want a relationship that's like that, or... what.
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[ which, ash, asking that question is a FUCKING HYPOCRITE but whatever he's not the one on the therapy couch rn. ]
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But it's the kind of thing where, I dunno, does he want to actually date me or some idealized version of me? It's weird. I can only hold his hand about these kinds of things for so long.
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Some people are crap at this stuff -- lay it out, and if he actually wants to make this work, he'll work on that. If he doesn't, then maybe it ain't worth it.
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Yeah... I think it's just extra annoying, since now we have a bunch of people telling us that we can very easily work through any problem, and any hesitation we might have is dumb and we should get over it.
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You okay telling people you're working through stuff? You're not making promises, and anyone who pushes after that's a dick and you can tell them that to their face.
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It's just kinda jarring when normally no one else cares about this kind of thing.
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It’s not like anyone but the military uses that anyway, so I guess we’re just always nosey.
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